Minggu, 29 Juni 2014

Nolan's Diary

I was bored... so I decided to write a really short story...

Peterborough, June 28, 2014

Hello, my name is Erik River and I’m a vampire. Girls, please don’t squeal. I’m very bored right now, have nothing to do, so I decided to write on Nolan’s diary. Nolan is a ‘he’ yet he brings his diary everywhere. Glad that he can play guitars like a God, if not, I would have thrown him in a river years ago. He always writes stuff he did every day like “Oh My God, Erik just kissed a fan in front of the stage today. I bet he’s enjoying it though he tries to act cool.” Wow, thanks man, I’m touched. Ah, I should tell more about me, not Nolan’s crap. I bet you’ve already known me better than myself, thanks to almighty Edward Cullen. Just to make it clear for you, I’m real and I’m neither fictional vampire like Edward nor Lestat. I don’t think you’ll believe me even though I’m slightly more believable than the Cullen family. There are many rumors going around about the existence of my kind and I don’t know since when a vampire would glitter under the sunlight, once again thanks to Edward. If vampires can survive the sunlight, I would roam the sidewalk every day, but unfortunately I’ll die like a roasted chicken. Talking about glittering vampires, there are another myths I’d like to clear about. First, I can see my reflection on the mirror. I don’t understand how the fairytales told that vampires don’t have any reflection. Even though we’re not really living, but we do exist. How am I supposed to dress and wear my make up if I can’t see myself? Second, yeah we drink blood, human blood. Another thanks to Edward Cullen’s craps, people thinks that vampires can be a vegetarian by drinking animal’s blood. I’ll tell you, it tastes nothing like vegetables or tofu or anything you human can think of, it’s just gross. I wonder how anyone can drink that, I prefer to drink a fat ass douche’s blood than a lion’s. Period. Third, I do move fast and I do not breathe. I don’t know why being dead as a vampire makes us faster but being dead as a zombie makes you slow as hell. But let me tell you that zombies are not real at all, for now. It will be pretty serious if they’re real since they’re dumb, and eating people’s brain won’t make them any smarter. Fourth, I’m a singer or specifically, rock star. Ah, the Vampire Lestat was a rocker too, but sorry he isn’t real. For my job, I think that I’m cheating a little bit because, like Edward said, we do have some attractions in our voice. Actually, I’m in a band called Golden Spoon & Fork. Don’t tell me that you think it’s cool, I don’t even know why we choose that name in the start, and it’s as ridiculous as it can be. But does that name ring a bell in your head? Yeah? Of course you’ll know! Next week is our tenth anniversary and we’ll launch our fifth albums. I know, I know, it’s really confusing. I know that you’ll be like “Great, he said that he’s a vampire and now he’s a rock star. What happens with this world?” I’ll answer, nothing is wrong with this world, it’s just people need to accept our existence so we don’t have to hide like this. Fancy me I don’t need to hide that hard because I’m living in the world that starts from 8 p.m. till dawn, singing from gig to gig, and I don’t have to bother using any make up since people think that I’m wearing it while I’m not... And it looks like I have to end this session now, since I saw Nolan was sprinting to the bathroom as soon as he woke up. It’s amusing that I find writing this kind of stuff is so exciting that I don’t know when to stop, and I got you Nolan. I don’t know what will happen to me if he knows that I read his diary and even writes on it. Wops, there’s something I forgot to tell you, it’s important, everyone in my band know that I’m a vampire, so don’t worry about me. See you next... time! I’ll try my best to steal a chance to write again. Haha.


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